095/Elemental Mastery Part Two: Diving into the Depths of Emotion

Greetings, beautiful soul! 🌟 

Welcome to the heart-centered haven of the BTG Podcast, where I, your guide Jen Febel invite you to embark on a transformative journey from your head to your heart.

​“BTG” stands for “Bridge The Gap” and it is inspired by my own healing journey. 

​After receiving seven different mental health diagnoses by the age of 19, I quickly realized that there was a massive gap between what I believed and understood in my head and what I truly felt in my heart. And no matter how many experts I sought out, I couldn't seem to bridge that gap - until I found the tools and information that I share in my one-on-one private coaching sessions, trainings and right here on this podcast.  
​
My goal is to help you begin to bridge that gap by bringing you different topics related to mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

You are invited to join us in Circle

Each episode of The BTG Ppodcast is recorded LIVE during my virutal Healing Circles. These free virtual gatherings that take place twice a month. Each Circle we begin with a beautiful candle meditation followed by a deep dive into a diverse discussion on mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  We then embark on a journey with a sacred circle casting, grounding meditation and energetic shielding, breath-focused practice,  and ending with a soul-inspiring gratitude meditation.

If real-time connection calls to you, explore more at www.btgwellness.com/circle and join my free Circle membership.

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Questions or just want to chat? Reach me at www.livelifeunbroken.com or www.btgwellness.com.

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Embrace the episode, and let the journey within begin!

Warmest regards,
Jen ✨ 

Transcript

0:02

Hello and welcome to the BTG podcast. I am your host Jen Febel of BTG Wellness and Live Life Unbroken dot com. BTG stands for bridge the gap, and it is inspired by my own healing journey. After receiving seven different mental health diagnoses by the age of 19, I quickly realized that there was a massive gap between what I believed and understood in my head and what I truly felt in my heart. And no matter how many therapists I went to, I couldn't seem to bridge that gap. Until I found the tools and information that I share in my one on one private sessions, trainings and right here on this podcast. My goal is to help you begin to bridge that gap by bringing you different topics related to mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. And in case you didn't know, this podcast is recorded live during my weekly zoom virtual healing circles. These are weekly virtual gatherings that are 100% free and no RSVP is required. So you are welcome to come whenever you can, and stay as long as you want. Each week we open the space with a candle meditation, after which I will share with you my favourite grounding practices and lead you through a circle casting, guided meditation and breathwork followed by a soul-inspiring gratitude practice. If you are interested in learning more about how you can continue your journey and experience my virtual healing circles in real time, please visit www.BTGwellness.com/circle and join my free circle membership. Of course, if you like what you hear in today's episode, please remember to leave a review and share the love by sharing this episode with your friends family and social network. And as always, if you have any questions, please know you can always reach out to me through my website at www.btgwellness.com or through email or social media. Enjoy the episode! Welcome to the Virtual Healing Circle with me Jen Febel of BTG wellness and livelifeunbroken.com. And tonight is Part Two of a four-part series where we're talking about how to work with the elements. Now last week we talked about the element of Earth and so if you wanted a recap of that, you can go back and check out that podcast episode. And tonight we're going to talk about the element of Water. So why is this important? This is important because, long before there was anything else we understood that fire is different from water. That our world and our bodies is a delicate balance of four basic elements. We understood that there was earth and air and fire and water. This means that the elements are some of our oldest ancestors, and some of the deepest forms of magic and healing we can access.

This is important because our life literally begins with water. Long before we emerge from the womb, we are surrounded by amniotic fluid; we are surrounded by the fluid of life: 3:01

the element of water. And so it holds the vibration of our most primordial selves. Therefore, it's a crucial part of our healing. And this is important because the elements offer quite unique opportunities to help you find some balance to help you find the deeper healing that you may be searching for. Now the idea of there being four main elements was first introduced by the Greek philosopher Empedocles who was also a scientist and a healer. He was the first one who proposed that there are four elements that make up everything that there is and that there is water that there is fire and there is air. Now this theory was first recorded in 450 BCE (so before the common era) it was later supported and added to by Aristotle who then also added a fifth element called Ether. Now the theory that matter was composed of these four basic elements ended up becoming the cornerstone of philosophy, of science, of medicine, and that lasted for over 2000 years. Now, we now know that the natural world is made up of more than just four elements. If you've ever seen the periodic table, you know, there are lots and lots of elements. But the four basic elements still represent the four states of matter, with solid representing the element of Earth, liquid the element of Water, gas, the element of Air and plasma the element of Fire. Now while this idea about the elements was originally used to describe physical reality, like the stuff around you, the Greek physician Hippocrates later used it to describe the temperaments and the psychology of who we are.

I want to remind you that each of the elements contains its own unique properties. None are inherently good or bad, but they have positive and negative qualities. So it's all about balance. And that doesn't mean, like, I have to be like 25% Earth and 25% water and 25% air and 25% fire at all times, and then ta-da: 4:43

balanced! It's about recognizing when you come out of balance and which elements you need to bring in, to put you back into balance. So it's not about holding balance. It's about knowing how to rebalance ourselves when we inevitably get bonked off course.

Now, we've talked in the past about this idea that you exist on four layers of reality or realms. You have the physical realm, you have the emotional realm, you have your mental realm, and you have the energetic or spiritual realm. Now, each of these realms is associated with different aspects of our psyche: 5:17

our emotional realm is our Unconscious Mind, our mental realm is our Conscious Mind...etc. And in addition to being connected to parts of our psyche, each layer of reality is also connected to one of the elements. And so when we're talking about the element of Water, what we're really talking about is our emotional self and our Unconscious Mind. Let's go a little deeper with that... The element of Water is connected to the emotional realm. That means that it represents our emotions, our dreams, our subconscious, our blood, and our shadow self. It is our most primordial, ancestral self; it is the part that contains the imprint of our earliest moments of life. And so it contains the deep, dark secrets about who we are. It's also the part that contains the deep dark secrets of who we are! And so a lot of us don't like to work with this element. If you look at the ocean, if you look at a large body of water, that water extends below the earth. From the surface, all you can really see on a still day are the reflections of the clouds above. Or you might see some choppiness on the surface, but you don't really know what's down there. In order to know what's in the emotional realm, we have to be willing to go beneath the surface and explore something that we can't see from above. This is why it's called our Shadow Self - it is the part of the universe that is unknown, but is knowable.

The element of Water is about accepting our mortality, while acknowledging the part of us that is that immortal: 7:01

the primordial part of us. Water itself is a shapeshifter. So it moves easily through the world and follows the path of least resistance. It follows a path that it can take more readily. It is soft, it's malleable, but it can also be a destructive force. Back when I used to work in animal hospitals, when I wanted to wear down my boss to make her decide on something, I would look at her and I'd say, "That's okay, the Grand Canyon started with a single drop of water." With enough persistence, even a soft drop of water can create some deep, immense grooves. The element of Water is connected with the Sacral Chakra in the Chakra systems and is associated with emotional connection; it's associated with the divine feminine. It's associated with pleasure and receptivity. Water is necessary for life. Without water, most life forms on our planet would perish. But too much water will cause floods, will cause canyons. Too much water at one time, we'll stop nourishing the earth and instead will wash it away. So learning how to balance Water isn't about being like more and more and more and more and more. It's about knowing how much water you need to balance out the other elements. Now each of the elements is also connected to specific signs on the astrological chart. In fact, a lot of the personality traits that is associated with each of the astrological signs has to do with the element that each sign is under. The water signs are Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. You'll also find indications of the elements in the tarot deck. If you've ever explored the Tarot deck, the element of Water is represented by the suit of cups. And so when we are working with the deck, when we see the suit of cups come up, we know that we're working with something on the emotional layer of reality. Now if you look at this in terms of your own personality and your own psychology, what does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it mean to have a lot of water in your life and your personality? So people who have a lot of water in their psychology are very, very, very flexible and go with the flow kind of people. They're very imaginative. They're highly, highly empathic and tend to be introverted. Introverted, has nothing to do with whether or not you like people or don't like people. It has to do with how you recharge your batteries. Someone who is introverted needs to be on their own in order to recharge - too much Air makes water choppy (Air element is thinking). So when we try to think too much, we just make that water choppy. Too much Fire and the water doesn't get reinvigorated, it evaporates. And so water needs to be still to recharge. That's why it's introverted. People who have a lot of water in their psychology are very nurturing. They're very intuitive. They are very deeply connected to their emotional realm. This means that they're very go-with-the-flow kind of people, but they have a hard time standing their ground and holding their convictions. The good news is that water will take on the shape of any vessel it's placed in. And the bad news is, that without a boundary - without a shape to be poured into - it flows all over the place. People who have a lot of water in their psychology can be a little wishy-washy. They're not great at making decisions. Everything's an idea, but they never actually take action on it. They can be overly sentimental, and a bit prone to fantasy. They can get locked in their imaginations. Without balance from the elements of Air and Fire and Earth, they can become stagnant water. Stagnant water grows mold and bacteria. People who have stagnant water in their personality can be prone to depression; to anxiety. To a tendency towards escapism, whatever that means - could just be flicking on your phone, could be something worse, The element of water requires boundaries. Emotions require boundaries. Otherwise, without them, the personality can become very ungrounded; very cut off and quite numb. By the way, just because you are a water sign does not mean that the element of Water comes easily or balanced in your personality. In fact, the water signs tend to be water signs because they have a lot of this and they need the other elements to balance them out. That applies to all the signs on the astrological chart. So let's say you identify "Okay, I need to work with more water - I'm too Fire or too Earth, I need to actually bring in more of this flow, I am too rigid, how can I start to bring some water into my healing journey?" First option is you need to do something that gets you in touch with your emotional self. So you need to do some form of meditation - static or dynamic. I like dynamic meditations because sitting still and contemplating my own navel just pisses me off. So I like the dynamic meditations that allow me to get into my body because I need some of that element of Earth as part of my meditation to then hold the flow of water in. One great Dynamic Meditation, if you've hung around me long enough, you may have heard me talk about Anger Work. That is a Dynamic Meditation - you do something physical to move your body and then you do a brain dump and just allow whatever has to come out to come out. That's the flow of water. You can work with the element of water by journaling, journaling, journaling, journaling, and journaling some more. Your emotions have to be acknowledged at least by you. To deny your emotions, to try to rationalize your emotions, is to repress them. Is to cause stagnation with the water element.

On a more physical kind of reality, you can just spend time near some bodies of water: 12:37

go sit by a lake, a river, a stream. Taking a bath is a really nice way to work with the element of Water. Go walk in the rain, play in puddles, listen to the sound of water. When I just need a moment to rebalance if I can't get out and do something, I'll just put my headset on the with sound of the babbling brook and sit there for a little while with that running in the background. Engaging in your imagination is crucial for working with the element of Water. And that can mean whatever it means. You can use your imagination in doodling in a book, in painting and dancing, in hula hooping, in daydreaming. Whatever it means for you to use your imagination, that's working with the element of Water. Crying. Crying is a wonderful way. When we have too much Air in our personality, which we're going to talk about next time, we tend to try to rationalize away our tears and so our face stays dry. We need to cry in order to bring in that element of Water and give it some movement. Another wonderful way to work with the element of water is about developing your behavioral flexibility. That means knowing how to adapt; knowing how to go with the flow. Learning to go with the flow, believe it or not, is a skill set. It's a mindset. It's something that can be learned. This idea of, "I'm just not that kind of person" will keep you stuck in one of the other elements. And will keep this part out of balance for you. And you can learn to receive with grace. The element of Water is the Divine Feminine. It's all about receptivity - receptivity meaning accepting the wonderful treasures that surround you in your life and feeling gratitude for them. It means accepting compliments from other people, accepting help from other people gracefully, not reluctantly. Not with a story about "Oh, this old thing" but, like, "Thank you, I appreciate that". Learning to receive with grace is a wonderful way to bring the element of Water into your life. Now, this is just a nerdy little fact that I found really interesting, so I wanted to share it. So the elements of Water is associated with the emotional realm and it's also associated with the cardinal direction of the West. The West is where the sun sets; the West is where the darkness starts. The West is the Shadow. And so, the reason that it is the Wicked Witch of the West and why she's all dark and shadowy is because the translation from 'darkness' and 'shadow' somehow got mis interpreted along the way as 'wicked'. And so the Shadow Self, the emotional self, the direction of the West started to get associated with 'not good things'. And then superstition started to develop. And the reason is just because it's talking about the element of Water; it is talking about our Shadow Selves and our emotional self. And what was it that ultimately brought down the Wicked Witch of the West? That's, right? You guessed it, it was water. I thought that was kind of neat.

So some key concepts to remember: 15:27

remember that learning to work with the elements is all about tuning in to the aspects of Who You Are, and ALL of them. Again, you can either hold true to "Well, I am just a Capricorn and I can't do this" or "I am just an Aries andd I can't do this, because that's just how I am." It's a little too rigid. Learning to work with the elements is about knowing how to identify where there's an imbalance and which elements you can bring in to rebalance you. Remember that the element of Water is all about your emotional, shadow self, which means it's your most primordial self. You are not meant to ignore it; you are not meant to hide from it. Whether you acknowledge it or not, it's there and it's you. And remember that no element is better than the other. It's all about just knowing balance; it's about knowing how to get yourself back in balance, when you inevitably fall over. The journey is not about never become imbalanced. The journey is about recognizing it sooner, and rebalancing faster. And as always, I want to remind you to decide you want it more than you're afraid of it. For some of us, this is the element that scares the snot out of us. And for some of us, we don't know how to get out of the water, because we were already drowning. So just decide you want it more than you're afraid of it and that's always the decision that will take you to the next step. And of course, if you have any questions about anything from tonight's Circle, or podcast, please know you can always reach out to me through either of my websites, either BTGwellness.com, or my coaching website, livelifeunbroken.com or through email or through social media.

Q: 17:04

So I'm conflicted, whether I have too much, or I need more, because sometimes I am like, I'm a water sign. Right? So and sometimes I am emotional, and awhile back maybe that was too much I don't know. And like would other people have handled differently, I don't know. And then I never thought of myself as just go with the flow. And somebody did call me at one point that like, well, "you're so that's what I love about you, you're flexible", and it's like "I am?" you know. I think, like, and now that I think about work like I am more flexible than I would have been before. But I still don't think of myself as like a flexible, go with the flow kind of person, especially if there's like concrete plans and all sudden be changed. is when I'm just like, I react emotionally to that first. I'm like, no, no, that's not okay. You know, and then I just need like a few minutes to, I guess for it to sink in and for me to be okay with it and process. And like, okay, I guess that can work.

A: 18:01

You've identified which parts of your journey have a tendency to knock you off balance. So again, it's not about being like, "I'm perfectly balanced all the time. And then no one touch me, I'm not going to move because I'm in balance no one talk to me". It's okay, like, maybe I'm able to hold my balance really well with, like, my friends. I find with my friends, I can be super flexible; I find I can share my emotions. But I also have boundaries and things are really good. With my Mom, maybe I'm a mess. And at work I'm too inflexible. Right? So it's where in my life and it's going to be different imbalances in different situations. So I might need more Fire in my work; I might need more Air at home. I might need different things in different environments with different people and in different situations. Gotcha. That makes sense. Hence why we recognize it and then know how to adjust it because it's always fluctuating because you go from your friends to your work to here, sometimes your friends are at work and you're like, "Ah!". So it's just about recognizing if I'm overly emotional, then in that moment, I've got a little excess of Water. What can I bring into balance it? Well, I can bring in some more Earth so that myself grounded. I can bring in some Air maybe think about this, I can bring in some Fire actually take action and connect in with myself. And then that helps balance the overflow of Water that that situation brought on. In other areas. I might be like, "It is dry as a bone here, man I need like water here" and then I need to bring more flow there. Okay. Yeah, does that make sense? Yes. Cool. And what did you say about the stagnant water? Like, what do we need to bring in there? If that's happening? It depends on the situation. So stagnant water just means that it's stagnant. It can cause a lack of movement, a feeling of being stuck. So often what we need there is a bit of grounding and some actions. We need a bit of fire to move things, but not so much fire that we boil over. Okay.

Right? And sometimes when we have to get the fire going, we're like, "All the fire now!" and then we're, like, where did all the water go - it evaporated. So, again: 20:00

balance. Awesome. Thank you. My pleasure. Thank you again for joining me for this episode of The BTG podcast, which stands for "Bridge The Gap" with me Jen Febel. Remember, if you want to experience my virtual Healing Circles in real time, visit www.btg wellness.com/circle. And of course, if you have any questions at any time, please know you're always welcome to reach out to me through social media, or through my websites at BTGwellness.com or through my coaching website livelifeunbroken.com Thanks again and I'll see you next time.